Think Pink: Breast Cancer Awareness Month
I wouldn't usually do a post like this however this is a cause close to my heart and I thought it would give my readers a chance to know a little more about me. I want to raise awareness so that we can limit the number of people who have to go through the grief and pain that myself and my family went through.
We all try to be strong but there is no shame in admitting that we need a hug from someone close to us or even talking to a counsellor about our worries, concerns or just to talk to about how we are feeling.
I am not afraid to admit that I was appointed a counsellor and I think this too has to be spoken about more. There is no shame in talking to someone outside your family about how you are feeling.
Counselling is not only available to family members but to the person that is directly involved.
At the time my family were in grief and I did not want to burden them with all my questions and general talking about my feelings. It enabled me to shout out, cry and laugh without the worry that I would upset anyone. It brought me out of a very dark place and I could not be more thankful to the Hospice for advising it.
I used to have a few sessions a week at the start then it went to once a week when I would reflect on the whole week and eventually down to when I felt that I needed to talk to someone.
My counselling now is going to the grave with lots of colourful flowers and making the grave all pretty and talking to my mum. Some may think thats silly but for me it is a way of still talking to her and letting her know about everything thats happening in my life.
Talking about what my mum went through can be hard to talk about and I have got a lump at the back at my throat as I write this as I know it will probably bring back memories and with those memories the feelings that I felt at the time.
There are so many events and activities that everyone can get involved in to raise money of Cancer Research.
Make Pink Cocktails
Pink Recipes
TWITTER | BLOGLOVINWe all try to be strong but there is no shame in admitting that we need a hug from someone close to us or even talking to a counsellor about our worries, concerns or just to talk to about how we are feeling.
I am not afraid to admit that I was appointed a counsellor and I think this too has to be spoken about more. There is no shame in talking to someone outside your family about how you are feeling.
Counselling is not only available to family members but to the person that is directly involved.
At the time my family were in grief and I did not want to burden them with all my questions and general talking about my feelings. It enabled me to shout out, cry and laugh without the worry that I would upset anyone. It brought me out of a very dark place and I could not be more thankful to the Hospice for advising it.
I used to have a few sessions a week at the start then it went to once a week when I would reflect on the whole week and eventually down to when I felt that I needed to talk to someone.
My counselling now is going to the grave with lots of colourful flowers and making the grave all pretty and talking to my mum. Some may think thats silly but for me it is a way of still talking to her and letting her know about everything thats happening in my life.
Talking about what my mum went through can be hard to talk about and I have got a lump at the back at my throat as I write this as I know it will probably bring back memories and with those memories the feelings that I felt at the time.
My mum developed breast cancer when I was a secondary school. I was never fully aware of breast cancer or the effects however just hearing the word Cancer is enough. My mum was a Nurse so had most likely seen many people go through cancer, so to then go through it herself she could share her story and inspire others to fight it like she did. she gained her strength and became the mum she always was again.
This was until we found out that the cancer had come back again only this time it was in the bones. Again I was not aware of this type of cancer so did not understand. I asked lots of questions and went to hospitals appointments with her to get a better understanding. She started treatment again and I thought yes she'll be ok.
At this time I was at college and my mum would always make sure that I was ok, I never saw her in pain or upset and that's probably the reason I didn't know how severe it was getting.
I started university and I know my mum was so happy to see me up there, although she was in pain she made sure she did the long 3 hour drive up to Nottingham of which now I am so thankful for her doing as I knew it must have taken a lot. In the little time between Oct-Dec she had got really bad and had to go into a hospice. I spoke to my mum and dad a lot in that time but they never let on how bad my mum had got. She would always put others before her.
Only after did I find out that dad had to carry her upstairs and wheel her around the shops in a wheelchair so she could get Christmas presents and also my birthday present.
By the time I was back mum was in a hospice and I had to see the consultant myself, that's when I was told mum wouldn't be coming home and it's only a matter of time. I did not want to hear those words and I did not believe them. They were in my head but I never let onto my mum that I knew, I didn't want her knowing how upset I was feeling inside as I knew it would tear her apart. I visited everyday even staying overnight. Christmas Day she really struggled and couldn't eat the roast they had put on for us, I remember trying so hard not to cry at the table and saying it was ok she was probably just having a bad day. My birthday is 8th Jan and I was going to be 21 so we had a countdown going on. I know now that she was trying so hard to see it but the Cancer got the better of her.
One night she was staring at me, saying nothing and I kept saying to her go to sleep you need your strength. Inside I wanted her to look away as I was screaming with anger inside. What had we done that mum had to go through this, why was this happening to us. After that it became a blur of days and my mum had her eyes closed most of the time. Her body was slowly closing down and sadly my mum passed away 5 days before my birthday.
I screamed, I hit out, I was in denial and I laughed. We hadn't got to the hospice in time that morning after we got a call to say we should make our way in. I remember being met at the door by the nurse and I knew instantly. I cant remember it but my aunty said I gave her and my uncle nightmares for a few days from the scream I let out. I was picked up from the floor and led away, I remember thinking that I felt half of me had gone, something was missing. I can laugh now about her last moments as its very typical of my mum. She had let the nurses change the bed, She had been washed and got fresh pjs on and in those 2 mins between the nurses leaving and my family going into the room she slowly slipped away from us.
My mum would alway make sure everything was just so in the house and not untidy and she wouldn't have wanted any of us to see her go to sleep so she went to sleep her way. Knowing those last minutes I can smile through the tears as writing this.
At this time I was at college and my mum would always make sure that I was ok, I never saw her in pain or upset and that's probably the reason I didn't know how severe it was getting.
I started university and I know my mum was so happy to see me up there, although she was in pain she made sure she did the long 3 hour drive up to Nottingham of which now I am so thankful for her doing as I knew it must have taken a lot. In the little time between Oct-Dec she had got really bad and had to go into a hospice. I spoke to my mum and dad a lot in that time but they never let on how bad my mum had got. She would always put others before her.
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| My 21st Birthday present that my mum picked out. Will forever treasure |
By the time I was back mum was in a hospice and I had to see the consultant myself, that's when I was told mum wouldn't be coming home and it's only a matter of time. I did not want to hear those words and I did not believe them. They were in my head but I never let onto my mum that I knew, I didn't want her knowing how upset I was feeling inside as I knew it would tear her apart. I visited everyday even staying overnight. Christmas Day she really struggled and couldn't eat the roast they had put on for us, I remember trying so hard not to cry at the table and saying it was ok she was probably just having a bad day. My birthday is 8th Jan and I was going to be 21 so we had a countdown going on. I know now that she was trying so hard to see it but the Cancer got the better of her.
One night she was staring at me, saying nothing and I kept saying to her go to sleep you need your strength. Inside I wanted her to look away as I was screaming with anger inside. What had we done that mum had to go through this, why was this happening to us. After that it became a blur of days and my mum had her eyes closed most of the time. Her body was slowly closing down and sadly my mum passed away 5 days before my birthday.
I screamed, I hit out, I was in denial and I laughed. We hadn't got to the hospice in time that morning after we got a call to say we should make our way in. I remember being met at the door by the nurse and I knew instantly. I cant remember it but my aunty said I gave her and my uncle nightmares for a few days from the scream I let out. I was picked up from the floor and led away, I remember thinking that I felt half of me had gone, something was missing. I can laugh now about her last moments as its very typical of my mum. She had let the nurses change the bed, She had been washed and got fresh pjs on and in those 2 mins between the nurses leaving and my family going into the room she slowly slipped away from us.
My mum would alway make sure everything was just so in the house and not untidy and she wouldn't have wanted any of us to see her go to sleep so she went to sleep her way. Knowing those last minutes I can smile through the tears as writing this.
We need to raise awareness of Cancer as a whole but this cause is close to my heart as it was the primary cancer for my mum which then spread.
There are so many events and activities that everyone can get involved in to raise money of Cancer Research. - wear it Pink 2014 on Friday 24th October
- Host/attend a fundraiser- Pink Part at home
Make Pink Cocktails
Pink Recipes
- Have a Bake off
- Charity Challenges, Run, Ride, Trek, Skydive etc
- Paint your town pink
- Accept donations as gifts on special occasions
- Buy the pink specialty products in shops Nationwide
- Become a volunteer and allow the word of the cause to be spread, without events this isn't possible and volunteers are always needed.
Are you doing anything to support Breast Cancer this month? Would love to know what, how it goes and how much you raised.
Ill be wearing pink, not that its unusual for me and baking plenty of cakes and cookies and most likely be buying a beauty product sponsoring Breast cancer such as the O.P.I Nail polish. Going to try get my girls round for a pink party/slumber party as well. I will upload pictures for you all to see on my twitter so make sure you follow :) XO
Ill be wearing pink, not that its unusual for me and baking plenty of cakes and cookies and most likely be buying a beauty product sponsoring Breast cancer such as the O.P.I Nail polish. Going to try get my girls round for a pink party/slumber party as well. I will upload pictures for you all to see on my twitter so make sure you follow :) XO
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